A MOTLEY MELANGE OF MONDEGREENS

Mondegreens: Misheard song lyrics, sayings, quotes, and such

“Carryin’ beans, now we’re sharin’ the same jeans.”
(Actual lyric: “Carribean Queen, now we’re sharing the same dreams.”)
-- Stan Kegel

“Great Emulsifier”
(Actual song title: “Great Balls of Fire!”)
-- Joan Capelle

“London Bridge is falling down…build it up with ironing boards”
(C.M. note: I cannot for the life of me figure out which verse this corresponds to: “Build it up with silver and gold,” “…with needles and pins,” “…with wood and clay,” “…with stone so strong.” How in the world did any of these get transmogrified into “ironing boards”? I’m thoroughly baffled!)
-- Freda

“Camptown latest sing this song, doo-dah, doo-dah.”
(Actual lyric: “Camptown ladies sing this song: Doo-dah, doo-dah.”)
-- Anonymous

“Leave your pickle vats behind you.”
(Actual lyric: “Leave your fickle past behind you.”)
-- Barbara Boissonnas
{Note from C.M.: My mother and I both heard that one as “pickle vats” too. It was funny enough then—both of us committing the same mondegreen for months, knowing that couldn’t be what the vocalist on the record was singing, yet unable to hear it as anything else but “pickle vats.” But when, many many decades later, Barbara submitted the very same mondegreen to me for a book I was writing, I utterly howled with delighted amazement.)

“The wicked oppressing, Seize them from his dressing.”
(Actual lyric: “The wicked oppressing, Cease them from distressing.”)
-- C.M.

“Oh say can you see by the dawnzerly light.”
(Actual lyric: “Oh, say can you see by the dawn’s early light”)
-- Caroline Kahn

“Dawnserly light.”
(Actual lyric: “Dawn’s early light.”)
Bea

“Through the parallax fight.”
(Actual lyric: “Through the perilous fight.”)
(Note from the contributor on how she arrived at “dawnserly” light and parallax fight: By verbal analogy with easterly and westerly, dawnserly light comes from the direction of the dawn. [And] my father loved photographic gadgets, so I knew the word “parallax” before I knew the word “perilous.” Go figure.)
-- Bea

“Climb every mountain.”
(Actual lyric: “I’m every woman.”)
-- Stan Kegel

“Ol’ Man River, he just keeps rowin’ along.”
(Actual lyric: “Ol’ Man River, he just keeps rollin’ along.”)
-- Anonymous

“Come and let me tell you ’bout my bed spread.”
(Actual lyric: “People, let me tell you ’bout my best friend.”)
-- Stan Kegel

“Now laughing friends divide tears I cannot hide.”
(Actual lyric: “Now laughing friends deride tears I cannot hide.”)
-- C.M.

“Oh, beautiful for spaceship guys,”
(Actual lyric: “O, beautiful for spacious skies,”)
-- Richard Lederer

“Oh tannin’ bomb, oh tannin’ bomb.”
(Actual lyric: “O tannenbaum, o tannenbaum.”)
-- Anonymous

“Come, shave my heart.”
(Actual lyric: “Unchain my heart.”)
-- Stan Kegel

“What’s the maggot draggin’ down by the sea?”
(Actual lyric: “Puff the magic dragon lived by the sea.”)
-- Warren D. Lockaby

“Dirty deeds and the thunder chiefs.”
(Actual lyric: “Dirty deeds done dirt cheap.”)
-- Stan Kegel

“Dirty jeans and satin sheets”
(Actual lyric: “Dirty deeds done dirt cheap.”)
-- Evelyne

“Dirty deeds done to sheep.”
(Actual lyric: “Dirty deeds done dirt cheap.”)
-- Stan Kegel

“For it was Mary, Mary, long before the Fascists came.”
(Actual lyric: “For it was Mary, Mary, long before the fashions came.”)
-- C.M.