More bad jokes.

I can't get enough of these things.

* Where does the catcher sit for dinner?
* Behind the plate.

* I swallowed my wrist watch by accident yesterday, Harry.
* Good heavens! Does it hurt?
* Only when I wind it.

* What's the best time to go to the dentist?
* At toothhurty.

* How did the townsfolk find out the pigeons were plotting a revolution?
* They heard them in the town square saying, "Coup, coup!"

* What's E.T. short for?
* So he can fit in his space ship.

* What happens when two snails fight?
* They slug it out.

* What do you call a clock on the moon?
* A lunartick.

* What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
* A nervous wreck.

* Why did the librarian slip and fall on the library floor?
* Because she was in the non-friction section.

* What do you call a white, poofy space alien?
* Martianmallow.

A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew the doctor's habit and would always have a drink waiting. But one day the bartender ran out of hazelnut extract, so he substituted hickory nuts. When the doctor arrived, he took a sip and exclaimed, "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!"

"No, I'm sorry," the bartender replied. "It's a hickory daiquiri, doc."

Source: Rinkworks.com.