Musician Jokes

What do you call a tuba cut in half?
A one-ba.

There is a rehearsal when Paul Whiteman notices that his banjo player is crying. He asks him what the problem is, and the banjo player says, "Bix just loosened one of my strings." Whiteman says, "Yeah, that wasn't a very nice thing of Bix to do, but why are you so upset?" The banjo player cries, "He won't tell me which one!"

Some jazzer finally makes it to the Pearly Gates. St. Peter says, "Well, it's not so bad up here. We have a jazz club if you want to check it out." So the jazzer checks out the jazz club, and there's a session going on with all the great players. In walks this old bearded man with a black beret, sunglasses. He shuffles around, blowing on his trumpet. The jazzer asks St. Peter, "Who's that?" St. Peter says, "Oh, that's God. He thinks he's Miles Davis."

Credit: Unknown. (If this joke belongs to you, click here to claim it.)

What will you never say about a banjo player?
That's the banjo player's porsche.

What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)...

• onion?
  No one cries when you cut up a banjo.
• uzzie?
  An uzzie only repeats forty times.

Credit: Where I Got It: http://www.milk.com/random-humor/banjo_jokes.html

And ... Why There Is No Trumpet At Christmas This makes the most sense when you understand that in a working jazz band the trumpet player usually plays the lead, and usually hogs all the solos. (turn the volume down on your speakers if you are at work):

Credit: Where I Got It: http://www.billandellie.com/sounds/TrumpetChristmas.mp3