TAKES NO SKILLET ALL

by Cynthia MacGregor

(cont'd from yesterday)

My problem is usually with barbequeing. In the kitchen I know what I’m doing, but I’m never sure of cooking times on the grill and sometimes mess up. And if I don’t, the weather gives me problems, and halfway through my cooking it starts tureen.

At least I don’t have a small child anymore. It’s difficult for those women who have to cook and supervise children, and it’s hard to manage in the kitchen when you’ve got a small boy underfoot who’s put his capon and is zooming all over the kitchen yelling, “I’m faster than a speeding pullet!” Any woman who tries to cook under those conditions shell surely have a problem, and that’s no yolk.

Cooking can be very tiring if you’re doing something ambitious. I’m normally up at 5 AM but on Thanksgiving I always wake up earlier, knowing what’s ahead of me, and am tempted to get out of bed then. Last year I succumbed to the temptation and got up at 4, but because I roast too early, I got very tired later.

And talk about temptation—how do you keep from tasting everything as you cook?! Two handfuls of olives for the salad and a few for my mouth; some bacon for the salad and some for me. Before I start cooking, I bend down and touch my toaster remind me that I need to still be able to do that when the day is over.

When kids are at the table, you can expect squabbling to mar the enjoyment of your dinner. Some nights you’d be glad of just peace and carrots. In fact, if you’re a parent and the dinner table is peaceful, do you really carrot all how the food tastes?

Kids have a way of messing up the house five minutes before your guests are due. They get muddy feet and go margarine across your clean floor leaving big tracks. And no matter how cereal you are about keeping the house looking nice, there go all your plans. You may have mustard all your best intentions, but you’ll find yourself yelling all the same. This isn’t a case where you can ketchup to the cleaning chores later. So you wind up yelling, “Olive you very much, but right now you’d better get out of my sight before I lose it.” Should you finish making the gravy first or mop the floor first? You know whichever you pickle be the wrong choice.

So, you see, there’s a lot more to having guests for dinner than simply cooking. There’s setting a nice-looking table, providing a congenial atmosphere for your guests, and keeping your kids, if you have them, or any tactless or abrasive guests from ruining the evening. Kids pick the damnedest time to get out of hand. They’ll sit across the dinner table from each other and play catch: “Betcha can’t casserole I throw at you overhand. Think quick!”

Some hostesses even worry about having even numbers of men and women as guests, which has never been my concern. If I have more lads or molasses at my table, so what? But I’ve bean majorly stressed by unruly guests. I’ve even had unexpected company turnip and expect to be invited to stay. And it was a real problem—I didn’t have mushroom at the table. The situation should have been a pear ant. But they stayed. It was a grape challenge to make the food stretch to feed two extra. I guess they were thinking, The mayo, the merrier.

If this ever happens to you, and you have an unexpected guest invite himself, don’t give in and jelly won’t leave and you’ll just get more upset. I jam speaking from experience. When I soda car pull into the driveway that night, my heart sank. Sure enough, it was a self-invited guest. But we managed. You will too. Want to try getting rid of the uninvited guest through hinting? You consomme take the hint and leave, but others will stay all the same.

Since there’s so much effort and strain involved in having company, why do I enjoy entertaining so much? Beets me! But I relish the challenge.