My attempt at a punchline.

Normally I specialize in sarcastic commentary riddled with cutting one-liners, so I figured I'd try something different. Let's see how it works out.

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Once upon a time there was a great and wise guru. People all across the land came to his mountain retreat for advice, and many stayed on to be monks under his tutelage.

The first man of the day came before the guru. "Oh great one, my spirit is restless. I'm always a failure because I like having a good time too much. What can I do?"

The guru smiled. "There is much to be said for those who know the value of working hard. You must learn this value. Spend the day in my fields, tending to my plants, and you will realize how fulfilling works wrought by your own hands can be." And the man did, bowing low and grovelling his thanks.

Next a woman came to the guru. "Oh great one, my marriage has failed. My husband was a horrible man yet I can't get him out of my head. What can I do?"

The guru smiled. "The key to forgetting is adherence to a new goal. Once you've committed yourself to a different path you'll realize the folly of dwelling on your former husband. My students require a cook to serve them breakfast, and though this goal may seem sexist I believe you are ideally suited to the task. Your aura radiates culinary expertise. Go, and feed them breakfast, and you will discover a path beyond what you've already known." And the woman did, bowing low and grovelling her thanks.

Next a child came to the guru. "Oh great one, I'm a bully and I don't want to be. I can't help but pick on the other kids at school. What can I do?"

The guru smiled. "You have a good heart but fear showing it to others. You need practice. My goats require feeding, and the soft touch of a caring soul; and I sense that you can provide both. Go, and tend to them, and you will discover the joy of devoting one's self to the betterment of others." And the child did, bowing low and grovelling his thanks.

Next another man came to the guru. "Oh great one-"

But the guru stopped the man with one hand, and pulled a list from his loin cloth. "Plants tended... students fed... goats cared for... sorry, I don't need anything else done around the house. Come back tomorrow."

--

I'd give it a six out of ten, personally.

Credit: Me!