A MOTLEY MELANGE OF MONDEGREENS

Mondegreens: Mis-heard, misunderstood song lyrics, sayings, quotations, and the like

The Whizzer Daws
(Correct title: The Wizard of Oz)
-- Diana C.

“Paper View TV”
(Correct version: “Pay-per-view TV”)
-- Stan Kegel

“It’s a doggy-dog world.”
(Correct version: “It’s a dog-eat-dog world.”)
-- Frances Y. J. Wheeler

“Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me all the days of my life”
(Correct version: ”Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.”)
-- Clare

“This is a day that will live in infantry.”
(Correct version: “This is a day that will live in infamy.”)
-- C.M.

“And lead us not into Penn Station,”
(Correct version: “And lead us not into temptation.”)
-- Richard Lederer

“But deliver us some e-mail.”
(Correct version: “But deiver us from evil.”)
-- Richard Lederer

“Nip it in the butt.”
(Correct version: “Nip it in the bud.”)
~Lauré Smith, North Hollywood, Ca.

[This next may not strictly qualify as a mondegreen, since both the mis-spoken version and the correct one sound identical. It’s all in what you think you’re hearing…or saying. The contributor says this one resulted from her mis-hearing a term used on Women’s Professional Billiards broadcasts.]
“Won-loss bracket.”
[Correct version: “One-loss bracket.”]
-- Anonymous out west

“And to the Republican, Richard Stans....”
(Correct version: “And to the republic, for which it stands…”.)
-- Marveen

“Lonely child”
(Correct version: “Only child.”)
-- Michele Ash

[This one, from Bess W. Metcalf, requires a little explanation. Bess says that her mother, many years ago, overheard Bess’s little brothers and sisters playing wedding. They had recently attended a marriage ceremony performed by their father, a pastor, and had the routine memorized. The young “minister” intoned:]
“Do you take this woman to be your awful wedded wife?”
(Correct version: “Do you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife?”)
-- Bess W. Metcalf

“One Asian, under guard,”
(Correct version: “One nation, under God,”)
-- C.M.