Malaprops

We've lately been running mondegreens in this space. Close cousins to mondegreens are malaprops. As with the mondegreens we've been running here, I have provided the correct wording below each malaprop or other error, for those of you who may recognize an error as such but momentarily cannot think what word was intended.

Guard rail
(Intended term: ring guard.)
-- Anonymous

Walter Matthews
(Intended name: Walter Matthau.)
-- Anonymous

Derricks in the bus station
(Intended word: derelicts.)
-- Anonymous

Every nook and corner
(Intended word: cranny.)
-- Anonymous

Hotty totty
(Intended expression: hoity toity)
-- Anonymous

Cellar phone
(Intended word: cellular)
-- Anonymous

Hospic
(Intended word: hospice)
-- Anonymous

Baccalaurea
(Intended word: baccalaureate)
-- Anonymous

Toys For Us
(Intended name: Toys R Us)
-- Anonymous

Peddles Flintstone
(Intended name: Pebbles)
-- Anonymous

Impersonable
(Intended word: impressionable)
-- Anonymous

Nudist column
(Intended word: colony)
-- Anonymous

High geranium
(Intended word: hydrangea)
-- Anonymous

Colanders
(Intended word: columns [reference was to architectural features])
-- Anonymous

Hemlock maneuver
(Intended term: Heimlich maneuver)
-- Anonymous

Shrader-rader
(Intended word: refrigerator [speaker was a child])
-- Biglee

Information Cooperation
(Intended name: Emancipation Proclamation.)
-- Frances Bunn, Snow Hill, NC.

Hiccup truck
(Intended word: pick-up)
-- Christine Hamilton