A MOTLEY MELANGE OF MONDEGREENS

Mondegreens: Misheard, misunderstood song lyrics, sayings, quotes, etc

“This is the dawning of the age of asparagus.”
(Actual lyric: “This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius.”)
-- Stan Kegel

“It’s been three years since I broke my nose.”
(Actual lyric: “It’s been three years since I wrote my note.”)
-- Stacy Silva

“My country is ugly,”
(Actual lyric: “My country, ’tis of thee,”)
-- Jane Stanze in Webster Groves, MO

“Take your pants down and make it happen.”
(Actual lyric: “Take your passion and make it happen.”)
-- Stan Kegel

“Oh, no, not in springtime, summer, winter or all.”
(Actual lyric: “Oh, no, not in springtime, summer, winter, or fall.”)
-- Jo Wake

“Spiderman, Spiderman,/Does whatever a spider can./Spins a web,/Then he sighs.”
(Actual lyric: “Spiderman, Spiderman,/Does whatever a spider can./Spins a web,/Any size.”)
-- the mother of Matthew, in New York, age five

“Clown control to Mao Tse-Tung.”
(Actual lyric: “Ground control to Major Tom.”)
-- Stan Kegel

“I am a rock, I am an onion.”
(Actual lyric: “I am a rock, I am an island.”)
-- Stan Kegel

“One of these days all of my thumbs are gonna be fingers.”
(Actual lyric: “One of these days all of my friends are gonna be strangers.”)
-- Vivian

“I got shoes. They’re made of plywood.”
(Actual lyric: “I got chills. They’re multiplying.”)
-- Stan Kegel

“Third grade romance.”
(Actual lyric: “Third-rate romance”)
-- Myrna Dooley

“Rap City in Blue.”
(Actual title: “Rhapsody in Blue.”)
-- Richard Lederer

”What’s for dinner, mountain mama?/Take me home, country roads.”
(Actual lyric: “West Virginia, mountain mama./Take me home, country roads.”)
-- Jean Turner

“And here’s to you, Mrs. Rubber Thumb.”
(Actual lyric: “And here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson.”)
~~Kathy Epeneter

“Jacques, the monkey.”
(Actual lyric: “Shock the monkey.”)
-- Stan Kegel

“Brown Cow”
(Actual lyric: “Downtown.”)
-- Anonymous out west

“Glorified version of a pelican.”
(Actual lyric: “Glorified version of a pellet gun.”)
-- Anonymous