A MOTLEY MELANGE OF MONDEGREENS

Mondegreens: Misheard song lyrics, quotations, sayings, etc.

“Life in the Vaseline.”
(Actual lyric: “Life in the fast lane.”)
-- Stan Kegel

“And the rains came down, and the spuds came up.”
(Actual lyric: “And the rains came down, and the floods came up.”)
Bess Metcalf

“Look into my butterflies.”
(Actual lyric: “Look into my father’s eyes.”)
-- Stan Kegel

“Looks like tomatoes.”
(Actual lyric: “Looks like we made it.”)
Stan Kegel

“Making toast, here in the moonlight.”
(Actual lyric: “Making vows, just won’t work right.”)
-- Morandir Armson

“Love is a big, fat, quivering slug.”
(Actual lyric: “Love is a big, fat river in flood.”)
-- Stan Kegel

“Maybe I’ll play cards and be as fast as you.”
(Actual lyric: “Maybe I’ll break hearts and be as fast as you.”)
-- Anonymous

“Michelle, ma belle./Sunday monkey play no piano song.”
(Actual lyric: “Michelle, ma belle./Sont des mots qui vent très bien ensemble.”)
-- Stan Kegel

“Stand aside, sir, and guide her/With delight through the light from a bulb.”
(Actual lyric: “Stand beside her, and guide her/Through the night with the light from above.”)
Richard Lederer

“My woman is okay-O.”
(Actual lyric: “My woman from Tokyo.”)
-- Stan Kegel

“George to the world,/All the girls and boys./George to the fishes in the deep blue sea./George to you and me.”
(Actual lyric: “Joy to the world,/All the boys and girls./ Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea./Joy to you and me.”)
-- Cynthia Cavitt

“A new religion that’ll bring you to your knees/Like Velveeta Cheese.”
(Actual lyric: “A new religion that’ll bring you to your knees/Black velvet if you please.”)
-- Stan Kegel

“Oh, my darling lemon pie.”
(Actual lyric: “Oh my darling, Clementine.”)
-- Stan Kegel

“Territory ocean stick together/Territory ocean all be pals.”
(Actual lyric: “Territory folks should stick together/Territory folks should all be pals.”)
-- C.M.

“Only the good Tyrone.”
(Actual lyric: “Only the good die young.”)
-- Stan Kegel

“Take the back right turn.”
(Actual lyric: “Paperback writer.”)
-- Stan Kegel

“Pay for my Chrysler.”
(Actual lyric: “Paperback writer.”)
-- Stan Kegel

“Pay the black writer.”
(Actual lyric: “Paperback writer.”)
-- Stan Kegel

“America, America,/God’s red Chef Boyardee.”
(Actual lyric: “America, America,/God shed his grace on thee.”)
-- Richard Lederer

“Please relieve me - let me go.”
(Actual lyric: “Please release me, let me go.”)
-- Stan Kegel

“He has trampled out the vintage/Where the great giraffes are stored.”
(Actual lyric: “He is trampling through the vintage/Where the grapes of wrath are stored.”)
-- Richard Lederer

“Pretty woman, won’t you lick my leg?”
(Actual lyric: “Pretty Woman, won’t you look my way?”)
-- Stan Kegel

“Red, red wine, steak, lobster meat.”
(Actual lyric: “Red, red wine, stay close to me.”)
-- Stan Kegel