Stupid quotes.

If anything encapsulates "You're doing it wrong," it's these.

--

"Please provide the date of your death."
-from an IRS letter

"I was under medication when I made the decision to burn the tapes."
-Richard (Dicky) Nixon

We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
-Lee Iacocca

"A verbal contract is not worth the paper it's written on."
-Samuel Goldwyn

We understand the importance of having bondage between parents and their children.
-Dan Quayle

Helpful Warnings: "CAUTION: Knife is very sharp. Keep out of children"

"The people in the Navy look on motherhood as being compatible with being a woman."
-Rear Admiral James R. Hogg

"If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
-Brooke Shields

"We apologize for the error in last week's paper in which we stated that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce."
-Correction notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper

"Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly."
-Batman costume warning label

"The private enterprise system indicates that some people have higher incomes than others."
-Gerry Brown

"I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."
-George Bush

"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version."
-Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony

"We are sorry to announce that Mr. Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover."
-Parish Magazine

"We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally."
-Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister

"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
-Joe Theisman, quarterback and sports analyst

"Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything."
-Ivana Trump, on finishing her first novel

"I've read about foreign policy and studied, I now know the number of continents."
-George Wallace, 1968 presidential campaign

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
-Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC instructor


Credit: SomeGuy.com