JEST FOR FUN

While waiting in line at the bank, a man developed a very loud case of the hiccups. By the time he reached the teller's window, the hiccups had gotten worse. The teller took the man's check and proceeded to run a computer verification of his account. After a minute she looked up from her terminal. "I'm sorry but I can't cash this check," she said. "Why not?" the man asked, incredulously. The teller replied, "Apparently, our computer indicates that you do not have sufficient funds to cover this amount. As a matter of fact," she continued, "our records show your account overdrawn in excess of $5,000." "It can't be!" he cried. "You have to be kidding!" "Yes, I am," she answered with a smile, counting out his cash. "But please notice that your hiccups are gone!"

JEST FOR FUN

Calling on an attractive coed, the theology professor asked, "Who was the first man?" "If it's all the same to you, sir," replied the embarrassed coed, "I'd rather not tell."

JEST FOR FUN

I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.

JEST FOR FUN

Do not undertake vast projects with half-vast ideas.

JEST FOR FUN

I was preparing to teach a college course on the history of movie censorship and went to the library to take out films that had been censored. "Do you have any banned movies in your collection?" I asked the librarian. "Oh yes," she answered. "We have some really good ones. What would you like: Tommy Dorsey? Glenn Miller?"

JEST FOR FUN

Roger Winslow was very thin because he was so afraid to spend money for food. He looked forward to the day when his grandfather would die and leave him a fortune. The grandfather died but all he left Roger was a cookie. They came to Roger looking for the fortune but couldn't find it because it had disappeared into thin heir


JEST FOR FUN

A patient at a dental office came by to pay her bill. She began rummaging in her purse.
"Do you need a pen?" asked the receptionist, offering the use of of hers.
"Why, yes, thank you," said the woman, looking a bit surprised.
She then took the pen, put it in her purse, and proceeded to pay in cash.

JEST FOR FUN

In a small local town, Josh and Big Hoss, two rookie policemen, were patrolling the downtown business area. They decided to stop into the local coffee shop for a coffee and a donut. Soon, they got a call on their police radio, "33 in process, man in bank dressed as a banana." Well there was only 1 bank in town, in fact, it was just across from the coffee shop. And a 33 was an "armed robbery" and Josh and Big Hoss decided it was the dispatcher playing a joke on them. So they continued on enjoying their coffee break. They got a second call on their radio, "Repeat, Urgent, 33 in process, man in bank dressed as a banana." Realizing it was not a joke, they rushed across the street, but arrived 30 seconds after the banana split.

JEST FOR FUN

You know it's going to be a bad day when; You call your wife and tell her that you would like to eat out tonight and when you get home there is a sandwich on the front porch.

JEST FOR FUN

A man told his doctor, "I don't think my wife's hearing is as good as it used to be. What should do?" The doctor replied, "Try this test first. When your wife is at the sink doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question. If she doesn't respond, keep moving closer, asking the same question until she hears you." He went home and saw his wife preparing dinner. Standing fifteen feet behind her, he said, "What's for dinner, honey?" Hearing no reply, he moved up to ten feet behind her and repeated the question. Still no reply, so he moved to five feet. Still no answer. Finally he stood directly behind her and said, "Honey, what's for dinner tonight?" "For the fourth time, I said chicken, You'd better get your hearing checked."
Credit: Unknown. (If this picture belongs to you, click here to claim it.)

JEST FOR FUN

Pity the man who couldn't find anyone to sing with! He went out and bought a "Duet yourself kit."

JEST FOR FUN

When William Jennings Bryan was a young man, he went to the home of the father of his prospective wife to ask him for her hand in marriage. Bryan was determined to impress the father by quoting from the Bible, and he chose Proverbs 18:22: "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord." Bryan was unnerved when the father replied by quoting Paul: "So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better." (1 Corinthians 7:38) Bryan, never at a loss for words, said: "Yes, but Paul had no wife and Solomon had 700. Therefore, I believe Solomon ought to be the better judge as to marriage."

JEST FOR FUN

The difference between baseball and politics is if you're caught stealing in baseball, you're out.

JEST FOR FUN

Three men were discussing at a bar about coincidences. The first man said, "My wife was reading 'A Tale Of Two Cities'." and she gave birth to twins." "That's funny", the second man remarked, "My wife was reading 'The Three Musketeers' and she gave birth to triplets." The third man shouted, "Good God, I have to rush home!" When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, "When I left the house, my wife was reading 'Ali Baba And The Forty Thieves'!"

JEST FOR FUN

An award winning dentist will be given a little plaque

JEST FOR FUN

The orchestra was preparing to perform their annual benefit but the orchestra leader was nowhere to be found. They delayed as long as possible and finally decided to ask for a volunteer from the audience. First they gave the baton to a fireman. Alas, he had no rhythm and the orchestra fell into disarray. Then a doctor offered to give it a try, but he didn't have a feel for the dynamics and the music sounded too mechanical. Finally, a police officer saved the day. He took the baton and led the orchestra in, according to many in attendance, the best performance they could remember for years back. Of course, it should have been obvious: Copper is the best conductor.

JEST FOR FUN

Police arrested a transvestite and charged him with male fraud.

JEST FOR FUN

Toilet training a young child is always a matter of pot luck.

JEST FOR FUN

Christopher Columbus is the politician's ideal because he didn't know where he was going, when he got there he didn't know where he was, when he got back he didn't know where he had been. and he managed to do it with all government money.

JEST FOR FUN

I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.

JEST FOR FUN

This town is so small the city jail is called amoeba, because it only has one cell.

JEST FOR FUN

I have a friend who is both a mediocre actor and terribly uncoordinated. He recently fell of the stage during rehearsal and broke his leg. This is the first time he will be in the same cast for more than two weeks.