JEST FOR FUN

A customer ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.

"Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

JEST FOR FUN

"Red meat is NOT bad for you. Now blue-green meat, THAT'S bad for you!" - Tommy Smothers

JEST FOR FUN

A man was on a long walk in the country. He became thirsty so decided to stop at a little cottage and ask for something to drink. The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire.

There was a wee pig running around the kitchen, running up to the visitor and giving him a great deal of attention. The visitor commented that he had never seen a pig this friendly. The housewife replied: "Ah, he's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using."

JEST FOR FUN

A family was having dinner on Mother's Day. For some reason the mother was unusually quiet. Finally the husband asked what was wrong. "Nothing," said the woman.
Not buying it, he asked again. "Seriously, what's wrong?"
"Do you really want to know? Well, I'll tell you. I have cooked and cleaned and fed the kids for 15 years and on Mother's Day, you don't even tell me so much as 'Thank you'."
"Why should I?" he said. "Not once in 15 years have I gotten a Father's Day gift."
"Yes," she said, "but I'm their real mother."

JEST FOR FUN

Friends and I were chatting over dinner in a restaurant. A man at the next table told his cell-phone caller to hold on. Then he stepped outside to talk. When he returned, I said, "That was very thoughtful."
"I had no choice," he nodded and said to me. "You were making too much noise."

JEST FOR FUN

It was rumored that a particular Native American had a fantastic memory. Hundreds of people asked the Indian questions which he was able to answer. A skeptical young man set out to find
this Indian. When he did, he thought he'd conduct a test.
After standing in a long queue of people asking questions it was finally his turn. He asked the Indian what he had had for breakfast 10 years ago. The Indian replied, "Eggs."
The young man went off not entirely satisfied because there was no evidence to prove that the answer was correct.
Ten years later the man comes across the Indian again. Very pleased to see him he greets him in the stereotypical "How."
The Indian looks up at him, pauses for a moment and then replies, "Scrambled."

JEST FOR FUN

Two lawyers went into a diner and sat down at the counter. They ordered two sodas, took sandwiches out of their packs and started to eat them. The owner saw what was going on and approached the men. "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here," he complained. The two men stopped, looked at each other, and then swapped their sandwiches.

JEST FOR FUN

The wife left me a note on the fridge: "It's not working, I can't take it anymore! Gone to stay at my Mother's." I opened the fridge, the light came on and the beer was cold. I have no idea what in the hell she was talking about. The fridge works fine. Women, who can understand them?