THE GREAT WIDE WAY

by Cynthia MacGregor

(cont'd from yesterday)


But speaking of culture, one of the most popular forms was that which was available on Broadway. The theatre was growing ever more popular. Of course in the early years it wasn’t all high-tone attractions. Burlesque certainly helped make Broadway famous and wasn’t highbrow at all. The same could be said for vaudeville. (So why don’t we all say it? Together now: “Vaudeville wasn’t highbrow at all.” There, didn’t that feel good?) Broadway was home at different times not only to opera and ballet but to many less high-toned forms of entertainment including flea circuses and “freak shows.” At one time, P.T. Barnum displayed Bigfoot there. Barnum had his newest attraction dramatically lit to emphasize the size of his most noteworthy feature, thus inventing “footlights.”

Later shows were of a more respectable variety, both dramatic and musical. Many have even been recognized with awards. Broadway’s most prestigious awards are named Tonys, after the actors’ favorite pizza parlor. Many great shows have won this prestigious award over the years. Many other shows have become famous through not winning, sort of like the Susan Lucci of Broadway.

Famous shows over the years have included one about a baseball player who always got the ball over the fence, known as “Okla Homer,” and another musical, about a bus driver who always had to stop non-paying passengers from boarding. This show was, of course, called, “My Fare, Lady!” and was based on “Pigmillion,” which in turn was based on “Charlotte’s Web.”

One half of the team that wrote “Okla Homer,” was a member of a baseball team himself. He even included that information whenever signing his name: “Richard, Dodgers.” His partner was famous for a carnival act involving breaking beer mugs (“Oscar, Hammer Stein”). The duo knew they didn’t want to be known as one-hit wonders. (Oscar’s perennial hit on the beer steins didn’t count.) So they decided to write another show for Broadway. They paced their offices in Manhattan, pondering and pondering what to write about.

“Maybe we need a change of scenery,” Richard suggested helpfully.

“Where should we go?” Oscar asked.

They debated that one for another week and were no closer to deciding where to go to get away and be creative than they were to deciding what their next show should be about. Finally Richard said, rather vaguely, “Let’s head south.”

Oscar impatiently barked, “South? Specific!”

So they vacationed in Georgia, at a half-finished hotel, watched the plumbers at work, and came home to write “Pipe Dream.” After their return to New York, they stopped in at Madison Square Garden (which is a pretty silly name—aren’t most gardens more or less square?), took in a basketball game, and commented on one particularly tall player. “He looks like he’s wearing stilts,” said Richard.

“I bet he’s still getting taller,” said Oscar.

Thus was born the idea for their next show, “A Leg Grow.”

But the Times Square area was home not only to the so-called “Legitimate Theatre” but also to some pretty raunchy presentations. It was after taking in one such show one day that Richard and Oscar had the idea for their next great musical, “The Kink and I.” At a neighborhood store whose business was strictly cash-and-carry, they had the idea for yet another show, “Carry Sell.”

Although the duo were the darlings of Broadway, other composers, lyricists, and playwrights wanted to get their plays seen and heard too. One such was an immigrant fellow named Irving, whose plays were sure-fire hits. Many a theatre owner whose playhouse was in trouble would beg Irving to bail him out by staging a show there. Thus he became known as Irving Bailin’. Another popular songwriter of the day whose plays did well on Broadway was a very kind, considerate, thoughtful guy who earned the moniker Jerome Carin’.

Like the city, Broadway theatre was ever growing, ever changing. In the late ’60s, Broadway had its first rock musical. One day an actress went to a new salon to get her hair done. She discovered the stylist who was working on her was actually straight. This was such a novel concept that her songwriter/playwright friends decided to turn it into a musical. Thus was born “Hair.”

Of course, not all shows that are put on in New York are “Broadway shows.” There are “off-Broadway shows,” “off-off-Broadway shows,” and “so-far-off-Broadway-that-they-might-as-well-be-in-Yonkers” shows. Even Broadway shows are not all literally on Broadway, as most of the theatres are actually on the side streets, but false advertising has always been a problem in New York, and besides, “West Forties-and-Fifties Theatre” doesn’t have the same ring to it as “Broadway.”

Every decade or two, somebody Important decrees, “Broadway is dead,” but since there is no cemetery space left in Manhattan, it’s impossible to bury it, so it just reinvents itself and carries on stronger than ever.

Most recently, Disney has moved in on Times Square, opened a couple of shows in Broadway theatres, and cleaned up the surrounding neighborhood as well. Some New Yorkers actually miss the slightly seedy atmosphere of “the real Times Square,” though others are glad that they can finally take their kids to the heart of Manhattan without having to answer, “What’s that lady with the short skirt doing? Why does she keep walking up and down the street? Can’t she find the bus stop?” Still, we’ll know things have gone too far in the Disneyfication of New York if Mickey Mouse is ever elected Mayor, or the official song of The Big Apple becomes “It’s a Small World After All.”