The roof of the chapel was leaking and the priest asked for volunteers to raise funds for its repair. Mike offered his services. About a week later, the priest met Mike who was straggling from side to side as a result of having imbibed too freely. Mike was apologetic. "I'm collecting for the roof, Father," he said. "Every one of the neighbours I called on insisted on giving me a wee drop after paying his subscription."
The priest was shocked. "Are there no teetotallers in the parish, Mike?"
"Oh, yes, to be sure," said Mike. " I've written to them."
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