Since I'm about to get on one....

Here are some jokes about taking the bus.

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A man trying to get on an overcrowded bus was pushed off by the people inside. There's no room,' they said. 'It's full up!' 'But you must let me on!' shouted the man. 'Why, what's so special about you?' they asked. I'm the driver,' replied the man.

Teacher: Tommy Russell, you're late again. Tommy: Sorry, sir. It's my bus - it's always coming late. Teacher: Well, if it's late again tomorrow, catch an earlier one.

Do buses and trains run on time? No, they don't. Buses run on wheels and trains run on the tracks.

When you go for a bus ride, do you like sitting upstairs or downstairs? I prefer to ride on top, but it's very hard getting the horse up the stairs.

A man standing at a bus stop was eating a hamburger. Next to him stood a lady with her little dog, which became very excited at the smell of the man's supper and began whining and jumping up at him. "Do you mind if I throw him a bit?" said the man to the lady. "Not at all," she replied, whereupon the man picked the dog up and threw it over a wall.

As the bus came to the stop, the man at the front of the queue took out his eye, threw it up in the air and caught it before getting on the bus. An amazed conductor said, 'What on earth did you do that for?' 'I wanted to know if there was room on top,' replied the man.

'Is everyone in the bus?' asked the driver before he closed the door. 'No,' called a lady, 'wait until I get my clothes on.' All the passengers in the bus turned towards the door to look at the woman. She got on with a bag full of laundry.

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Credit: Best Funny Jokes.