Amen: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
Bulletin: Your receipt for attending Mass.
Choir: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync.
Holy water: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2O-ly.
Hymn: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation’s range.
Procession: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.
Recessional hymn: The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, because most of the people have already left.
Incense: Holy smoke!
Jesuits: An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges with great basketball teams.
Kyrie Eleison: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava.
Magi: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.
Pew: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.
Relics: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.
Ushers: The only people in the parish who don’t know the seating capacity of a pew.
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