Murphy's Laws of Food

1. Everything you like is bad for you.
2. If it isn't bad for you, it's too expensive.
3. If you can afford it, it's out of season.
4. You will realize it's back in season the day that the grocery store runs out.
5. Every recipe ever written includes one ingredient that you do not have in your kitchen. If you attempt to go buy this ingredient, you will realize you are missing another one.
6. Substitutions never taste right.
7. Ovens either overcook or undercook. They never get it just right.
8. Microwave ovens always overcook and undercook at the same time.
9. The grocery store always gets a fresh shipment immediately after you buy your food for the week.
10. You will always forget the most important item if you don't make a list.
11. If you do make a list, the store will be out of your most important item.
12. Every item in the store will be on sale, except the ones that you want.
13. Coupons always expire before you have a chance to use them.
14. The only person who ever gets to use coupons is the person in front of you in line.
15. The number of coupons of the person in front of you is directly proportional to how much of a hurry you're in.
16. No matter which checkout line you get in, it will always be the slowest one.
17. The "Fast lane" isn't.
18. Stores open 24-hours cannot close for their daily inventory update. Therefore, they just turn off the registers for ten minutes while they "download" the data. Invariably, they will plan this event to coincide with your arrival in the checkout line.

Credit: www.murphyslaws.net