JEST FOR FUN

A man was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The neighbor kept talking about chickens being God's creatures, and as such they had the right to go where they wanted.
The man was having no luck keeping the chickens out of his flower beds, and he had tried everything. Two weeks later, on a visit I noticed his flower beds were doing great. The flowers were beginning to bloom. So I asked him how he managed to keep the birds away. "How did you make your neighbor keep his hens in his own yard?"
"One night I hid half a dozen eggs under a bush by my flower bed, and the next day I let my neighbor see me gather them. I wasn't bothered after that."

JEST FOR FUN

Women are basically greedy: They want all things from one man. Men are so simple: They want only one thing from all women.

JEST FOR FUN

I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

JEST FOR FUN

A couple met at Hilton Head and fell in love. They were discussing how they would continue the relationship after their vacations were over. "It's only fair to warn you Jody," he said. "I'm a golf nut. I live, eat, sleep and breathe golf." "Well, since you're being honest, so will I," Jody said. "I'm a hooker." "I see," he said. Then brightening, he smiled. "It's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball."

JEST FOR FUN

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

JEST FOR FUN

A preacher said to a farmer, "Do you belong to the Christian family?" "No", he said, "Chris and his family live two farms down." "No, no, I mean are you lost?" "No, I've been here thirty years." "I mean are you ready for Judgment Day?" "When is it ?" "It could be today or tomorrow ". "Well, when you find out for sure when it is, you let me know. My wife will probably want to go both days."

JEST FOR FUN

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist,
looked straight into his eyes, and said,"I'd like to buy some cyanide."

 The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

 The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

 The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription."