Circumcised

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention.


She went back to find out what was going on.

He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.


The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did and returned to his class.


Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room.


She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his 'private part' hanging out.


'I thought I told you to call your mom!' she said.


'I did,' he said, 'And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school.

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religion humor

ONE EASTER SUNDAY MORNING AS THE MINISTER WAS PREACHING THE CHILDREN'S SERMON, HE REACHED INTO HIS BAG OF PROPS AND PULLED OUT AN EGG. HE POINTED AT THE EGG AND ASKED THE CHILDREN, "WHAT'S IN HERE?"

"I KNOW!" A LITTLE BOY EXCLAIMED. "PANTYHOSE!! "

OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES

Supposedly true stories about kids:

Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old granddaughter, Carolyn, I got a little wistful. “In ten years,” I said, “you'll want to be with your friends and you won't go walking, biking, and swimming with me like you do now”. Carolyn shrugged. “In ten years you'll be too old to do all those things anyway”.

Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her needle. “No, no, no!” she screamed. “Lizzie”, scolded her mother, “that's not polite behavior”. With that, the girl yelled even louder, “No, thank you! No, thank you”!

On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson asked my son the question. “Dad, I know that babies come from mommies' tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?” he asked innocently. After my son hemmed and hawed a while, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust. “You don't have to make something up, Dad. It's OK if you don't know the answer”.

Just before I was deployed to Iraq, I sat my eight-year-old son down and broke the news to him. “I'm going to be away for a long time,” I told him. “I'm going to Iraq”. “Why?” he asked, “Don't you know there's a war going on over there”?*

Paul Newman founded the “Hole in the Wall Gang Camp” for children stricken with cancer, AIDS, and blood diseases. One afternoon he and his wife, Joanne Woodward, stopped by to have lunch with the kids. A counselor at a nearby table, suspecting the young patients wouldn't know that Newman was a famous movie star, explained, “That's the man who made this camp possible. Maybe you've seen his picture on his salad dressing bottle”? Blank stares. “Well, you've probably seen his face on his lemonade carton”? An eight-year-old girl perked up. “How long was he missing”?

JEST FOR FUN

Sheila's husband is a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, and she often wondered how his job would affect their children’s outlook on life. She had her answer when her son brought his health quiz home from school with all but one question answered correctly. That question: Name the three main parts of the cell. His answer: the bars, the keys and the mattress.