JEST FOR FUN

Notes left in milk bottles - remember the good old days?

Dear milkman...

I've just had a baby, please leave another one.

Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk.

Cancel one pint after the day after today.

Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it.

Milkman, please close the gate behind you because the birds
keep pecking the tops off the milk.

Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but
two sons on the dole.

Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby
and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks.

Sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean one egg and a
dozen pints, but the other way round.

When you leave my milk please knock on my bedroom window
and wake me because I want you to give me a hand to turn
the mattress.

Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last night's
Coronation Street. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened
over a cup of tea?

My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before
you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle?

Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two
months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me.

Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant.

Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it.

From now on please leave two pints every other day and one
pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays
when I don't want any milk.

My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money
out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence,
because we want to play bingo tonight.

Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow,
for I wrote this note yesterday.

No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is
dead until further notice.

When you leave the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let
dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door. P.S. Don't
leave any milk.