JEST FOR FUN

Paul walked into Skeeter's Pub about 7PM, just a few minutes past the time he showed up three or four times a week. "What'll it be tonight, Paul?" "Bottle of Sam Adams, please, Skeeter." "I had Adams on tap last night and you ordered a bottle of Guinness. Last week I had Guinness on tap and you ordered a bottle of Foster's. Last month I had Foster's on tap -- you wanted Beck's. Too bad at your young age you'll never be able to run for public office." Paul shrugged. "How so?" "Because you've spent the last year and a half avoiding the draft."

JEST FOR FUN

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans Conclusion: Eat & drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you.

JEST FOR FUN

A doctor was the first at his hospital to perform a new procedure that removes blockage in the Fallopian tubes without surgery. He successfully did this on several occasions, allowing previously infertile women to conceive. His wife says she is the only wife in in town who is thrilled when her husband comes home and brags, "Guess what, honey! I got a woman pregnant today."

JEST FOR FUN

Two guys sat down for lunch in the office cafeteria. "Hey, whatever happened to Pete?" one asked. "He got this hare-brained notion he was going to build a new kind of car," his coworker replied. "How was he going to do it?" "He took an engine from a Pontiac, tires from a Chevy, seats from a Lincoln, hubcaps from a Caddy and well, you get the idea." "So what did he end up with?" "1 1/2 years in jail and 100 hours of community work."

JEST FOR FUN

If I ever decide to sell shoes on eBay, my offer will be "Buy The Right Shoe, Get The Left Shoe Free!" People love a bargain.

JEST FOR FUN

An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.

JEST FOR FUN

Bumper Sticker: All Men Are Animals; Some Just Make Better Pets.