JEST FOR FUN

There is a new study out about women and how they feel about their ass. 85% of women think their ass is too big. 10% of women think their ass is too little. The other 5% say that they don't care, they love him and would have married him anyway.

JEST FOR FUN

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."

JEST FOR FUN

A man goes to see his rabbi. 'Rabbi, something terrible is happening, and I have to talk to you about it.' The rabbi asks, 'What's wrong?' The man replies, 'My wife is trying to poison me.' The rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, 'How can that be?' The man then pleads, 'I'm telling you, I'm certain she's putting poison in my food; what should I do?' The rabbi then offers, 'Tell you what. Let me talk to her; I'll see what I can find out, and I'll let you know.' So the rabbi calls the wife and asks her what is going on in her marriage. There follows a vituperative harangue that involves a lot of screaming, cursing, invective, vitriol, and huge doses of bitterness. The rabbi tries to intercede with the wife, but at no point in the three-hour tirade is the clergyman able to get a word in edgewise. The rabbi then calls the man and says, "I spoke to your wife on the phone as I said I would. You want my advice?' 'Yes,' says the man, and the rabbi replies, 'Take the poison!'

JEST FOR FUN

When the car engine developed a slight knock, the husband asked his wife if she had bought special or regular gas, but she couldn't remember. "You probably got the cheaper gas," he said. "That could account for the roughness of the engine." "No, the gas wasn't cheaper!" she replied indignantly. "It cost the same as always. I told the man to put in the usual ten dollars worth."

JEST FOR FUN

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and was on the verge of being burned out. Hoping to try another career where skilful hands would be beneficial, he decided to change careers and became an auto mechanic. He found out from the local technical college what was involved and he signed up for evening classes, attended diligently and learned all he could. When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynaecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wondered if there has been an error that needs adjusting?" The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly which is also worth 50% of the mark." The instructor went on to say, "I gave you an extra 50%, because you did all of it through the muffler."

JEST FOR FUN

I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes and I thought to myself, "Wow dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized, I just watched my dog chase its tail for ten minutes.

JEST FOR FUN

At a wedding party recently someone yelled, "All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."
The bartender was crushed to death.