JEST FOR FUN

I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.

JEST FOR FUN

The incontinent Scotsman had a wee accident.

JEST FOR FUN

The ship sank. He was the lone survivor. He swam towards a distant beach. When he arrived there, he crawled up on the shore to rest and count his blessings; that's when he saw the first one... a pecan pie. He then saw a banana split, a cup of vanilla gelato, chocolate chip cookies, caramel apples, and yellow cake. Suddenly he realized he was on a desserted island.

JEST FOR FUN

A perverted pedicurist would break into people's homes and trim their nails while they were sleeping. He was a clip toe maniac.

JEST FOR FUN

The cannibal's cookbook, titled 'How to Better Serve your Fellow Man' was written by a guy who had a wife and ate kids.

JEST FOR FUN

Old quarterbacks never die; they just pass away.

JEST FOR FUN

Four older ladies are sitting around playing bridge. The first lady says, "You know girls, I have known you all a long time and there is something I must get off my chest. I am a kleptomaniac. But, don't worry, I have never stolen from you and I never will; we have been friends for too long." The second lady says, "Well, since we are having true confessions here, I must get something off my chest too. I am a nymphomaniac. But don't worry, I have not hit on your husbands. They don't interest me and never will; we have been friends for too long." "Well," says the third lady, "I, too, must confess something. I am a lesbian. But do not worry, I will not hit on you. You are not my type. We have been friends too long for me to ruin our friendship." The fourth lady stands up, says, "I have a confession to make also. I am an uncontrollable gossip, and I have some phone calls to make!"