JEST FOR FUN

A man goes into the plumbing supply store and says "I bought a bathtub here last week, but it keeps leaking." The clerk asks, "Did you put a plug in it?" The customer becomes upset. "Plug in it? You didn't tell me it was an electric tub!"

JEST FOR FUN

Back in the 1800s the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California. This, of course, is the origin of the expression "He who has a Tate's is lost!"

JEST FOR FUN

A friend introduced Richard to a woman and said, "This is Richard. He just got into the nursing program." She looked at Richard and scoffed, "a MALE nurse?!" But he had a great comeback ready. Without missing a beat he said, "I applied to be a female nurse, but I didn't pass the physical." Everybody but her laughed.

JEST FOR FUN

A news item this morning was about a local coal miner. It seems that his avocation was painting, but since he couldn't afford to buy canvasses he simply painted on the wall of his small cottage. Unfortunately, a gang of youths broke into his cottage earlier this week and defaced his paintings. Yesterday the young miscreants were charged in court with having "corrupted the murals of a miner."

JEST FOR FUN

I had just moved from an apartment to a house in the same small town. One day at the grocery store, I used the last of my personalized checks bearing my old address. The cashier examined the document and asked if everything on it was correct. I assured her that it was, and she started to put the check in the cash drawer. But then she inquired again if everything was accurate. "Why do you ask?" I responded. "Because, my husband and I moved to this apartment yesterday," she replied, "and I don't remember seeing you at breakfast this morning."

JEST FOR FUN

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, Every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl. We should've known. Only women would be able to drag an overweight man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

JEST FOR FUN

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect!