JEST FOR FUN

The Honor System Virus: This virus works on the honor system. Please delete all the files on your hard disk, then forward this message to everyone you know. Thank you for your cooperation.

JEST FOR FUN

The night before their marriage, Jerry called on his innocent bride-to-be at her apartment. "There's nothing to be nervous about," he assured her, "making love is very simple. Tonight I'll demonstrate first how Cousin Alvin makes love, then how Cousin Benson makes love, and finally how my Uncle John makes love." The next morning a telegram arrived: "Thanks for lessons. Have eloped with your Uncle John."

JEST FOR FUN

Despite his best sales pitch, a life-insurance salesman was unable to get a couple to sign up for a policy. "I certainly don't want to frighten you into a decision," he announced, standing up to leave. "Please sleep on it tonight, and if you wake up in the morning, let me know what you think."

JEST FOR FUN

A shopkeeper attacked a thief with a price labeling gun. The police are now looking for a man with a price on his head.

JEST FOR FUN

The one good thing about being a kleptomaniac is that you can always take something for it.

JEST FOR FUN

The husband had just finished his book "Man of the House." He stormed into the house and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face he said; "From now on, I want you to know that I am the Man of this house and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
His wife replied, "The funeral director."

JEST FOR FUN

Recently, fish and game officials in South Florida cracked down on folks catching more than their limit of certain types of fish. Wardens stopped a guy, made him open the trunk of his new Grand Marquis sedan and then fined him $1,000 for possessing an overabundance of' game fish. It is the first time in history a penalty has been levied for the level of fish in a Mercury.