JEST FOR FUN

The closest I ever came to a menage a trois was when I dated a schizophrenic.

JEST FOR FUN

I'm living with a guy, but we're not married. It's kinda like leasing with an option to buy.

JEST FOR FUN

Pat and Mike were getting ready to go on a camping trip. Pat said, "I'm taking along a gallon of whiskey just in case of rattlesnake bites. What are you taking?"

Mike answered, "Two rattlesnakes."

JEST FOR FUN

One day, after Joe had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, "You had a great checkup. Is there anything that you'd like to talk about or ask me?" "Well," Joe said, "I was thinking about getting a vasectomy." "That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked it over with your family?" "Yeah, and they're in favor 15 to 2."

JEST FOR FUN

My wife and I were browsing in a crafts store when I noticed a display of country-style musical instruments. After looking over the flutes, dulcimers and recorders, I picked up a shiny, one-stringed instrument I took to be a mouth harp. I put it to my lips and, much to the amusement of other shoppers, twanged a few notes on it. After watching from a distance, my wife came up and whispered in my ear, "I hate to tell you this, honey, but you're trying to play a cheese slicer."

JEST FOR FUN

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart. - Erma Bombeck

JEST FOR FUN

While I was preaching at a church in Mississippi, the pastor announced that their prison quartet would be singing the following evening. I wasn't aware there was a prison in the vicinity and I looked forward to hearing them. The next evening, I was puzzled when four members of the church approached the stage. Then the pastor introduced them. "This is our prison quartet," he said. "Behind a few bars and always looking for the key."