JEST FOR FUN

Visiting the psych ward, a man asked how doctors decide to institutionalize a patient. "Well," the director said, "we fill a bathtub, then offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient, and ask him to empty the tub." "I get it," the visitor said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's the biggest." "No," the director said. "A normal person would pull the plug."

JEST FOR FUN

Before my daughter went on her first date, I gave her "the talk." "Sometimes, it's easy to get carried away when you're with a boy," I said. "Remember, a short moment of indiscretion could ruin your life." "Don't worry," she said. "I don't plan on ruining my life until I get married."

JEST FOR FUN

As a highly skilled computer technician, Joe was hired to synchronize the communication between the microchips in the various computers in a local network. His new boss had left him instructions on a series of post-it notes. The slips of paper were so numerous and jumbled that they were confusing to Joe and his colleagues. Finally, Joe decided to ignore his boss' instructions. He simply discarded the notes and successfully completed the task on his own. Upon his return, Joe's boss asked him to describe the strategy that resulted in his success. "That's easy," replied Joe. "Lose slips, sync chips!"

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"No woman can keep a secret." "I don't know about that. I've kept my age a secret since I was 21." "You'll let it out some day." "I hardly think so. When a woman has kept a secret for 27 years, she can keep it forever."

JEST FOR FUN

I am retired. I WAKE UP WITH NOTHING TO DO, AND BY THE TIME I GO TO BED, I ONLY HAVE HALF OF IT DONE! How did I ever find time to go to work?

JEST FOR FUN

Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position

JEST FOR FUN

A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.