JEST FOR FUN

Four older ladies are sitting around playing bridge. The first lady says, "You know girls, I have known you all a long time and there is something I must get off my chest. I am a kleptomaniac. But, don't worry, I have never stolen from you and I never will; we have been friends for too long." The second lady says, "Well, since we are having true confessions here, I must get something off my chest too. I am a nymphomaniac. But don't worry, I have not hit on your husbands. They don't interest me and never will; we have been friends for too long." "Well," says the third lady, "I, too, must confess something. I am a lesbian. But do not worry, I will not hit on you. You are not my type. We have been friends too long for me to ruin our friendship." The fourth lady stands up, says, "I have a confession to make also. I am an uncontrollable gossip, and I have some phone calls to make!"

JEST FOR FUN

I was listening to a lady who called a radio pastor. The pastor was a wise, grandfatherly gentleman who has that calm reassuring voice that can melt all fear. The lady, who was obviously crying, said, "Pastor, I was born blind, and I've been blind all my life. I don't mind being blind but I have some well meaning friends who tell me that if I had more faith I could be healed." The pastor asked her, "Tell me, do you carry one of those white canes?" "Yes I do," she replied. "Then the next time someone says that hit them over the head with the cane," he said, "then say, 'If you had more faith that wouldn't hurt!'"

JEST FOR FUN

I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick-pocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?

JEST FOR FUN

On their 50th wedding anniversary, a couple summed up the reason for their long and happy marriage. The husband said, "I have tried never to be selfish. After all, there is no "I" in the word 'marriage.'"' The wife said, "For my part, I have never corrected my husband's spelling."

JEST FOR FUN

A young man volunteered to babysit his girlfriend's little siblings one night so she could have an evening out with her friends. At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and settled down to watch some college hoops. One child kept creeping down the stairs, but the young man kept sending him back up. Shortly after 9:00 p. m., the doorbell rang. It was the next- door neighbor, Mrs. Brown, asking whether her son was there. The young man brusquely replied, "No." Just then a little head appeared over the banister and a voice shouted, "I'm here, Mom, but he won't let me go home!"

JEST FOR FUN

Saudi Arabia is free of mental illness because there are nomad people there.

JEST FOR FUN

From Stan Kegel's Puns of the Day:

When my son was about seven years old, my wife, son, and I were on a car trip when my son asked: "Mom, what's a flasher?". Well, being a responsible mother, she proceeded to describe this man with a trench coat. You get the picture. After the explanation, my son frowned as though he did not get a good answer and then asked: "But mom, what does it mean 'Trucks under 40 use flashers'?". I had seen the sign and knew exactly what question my son had asked, but I was so interested in hearing my wife's response that I kept silent throughout the explanation.