JEST FOR FUN

A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date, but couldn't get her attention. When he was able to catch her eye, she quickly looked away. Finally, he followed her into the kitchen and blurted out his invitation. To his amazement, she readily consented. He said, "Why have you been avoiding me all this time? You wouldn't even make eye contact." "Oh," said the waitress, "I thought you wanted more coffee.

JEST FOR FUN

My cousin decided it was time that her three sons get baptized, so after several weeks of suitable instruction, one bright Sunday morning they were on their way to church where the three boys, 8, 9, and 11, would have their sins washed away. The 9 year old seemed particularly pensive that day, and when Ruth Ann asked him what he was thinking about, his reply was in the form of a question. "Mom, would it be all right if I went first?" "Sure, why?" she asked. "Because, I don't want to be baptized in water that has all of my brother's sins floating around in it."

JEST FOR FUN

Gottlieb called his Rabbi and said, "I know tonight is Kol Nidre, but the baseball playoffs start tonight. Rabbi, I'm a life long sports junky. I've got to watch the game on TV." The Rabbi responds, "Gottlieb, that's what VCR's are for." Gottlieb is surprised. "You mean I can tape Kol Nidre?"

JEST FOR FUN

A long-married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too far, fell into the well and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"

JEST FOR FUN

"So, when the judge didn't show up. The bailiff put His Honor's photo on the bench instead." "And that's why Murphy's appealing?" "Yeah, he says the picture doesn't do him justice."

JEST FOR FUN

It was Yom Kippur evening. In the old Jewish neighborhood, everyone was heading to services. And on his way to synagogue, the Rabbi notices one of his neighbors - an old timer - sitting on a park bench. "Sam. Aren't you going to services?" "Not this year, Rabbi." "Why not Sam? Don't you think you should ask G~d for another year of good health?" "Rabbi. I'm ninety-three years old. Most of my friends are gone. And I have a hunch. I think that in heaven they've forgotten about me. And the last thing I want to do is remind them!"

JEST FOR FUN

The doctor told me I had to watch my drinking. So now I only go to bars that have mirrors.