JEST FOR FUN

"Please keep your dog beside you, sir!" a woman said crossly to the man sitting opposite her on the park bench. "I can feel a flea in my shoe." "Fido, come here," replied the man. "That woman has fleas."


JEST FOR FUN

At the Saturday night tent revival the preacher announces, "Anyone with 'needs' to be prayed over, come forward, to the front at the altar." Leroy gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher asks: "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?" Leroy replies: "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing." The preacher puts one finger in Leroy's ear, and he places the other hand on top of Leroy's head and prays and prays. After a few minutes, the Preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks, "Leroy how is your hearing now?" Leroy says, "I don't know, Reverend, it's not till next Wednesday. "

JEST FOR FUN

A Jewish couple in London won twenty-million pounds in the lottery. They immediately set out to begin a life of luxury. They bought a magnificent mansion in Knightsbridge and surrounded themselves with all the material wealth imaginable. They decided to hire a butler. They found the perfect butler through an agency, very proper and very British, and brought him back to their home. The day after his arrival, he was instructed to set up the dining table for four, as they were inviting the Cohens to lunch. The couple then left the house to do some shopping. When they returned, they found the table set for six. Perplexed, they asked the butler why it was set for six when they had expressly asked him to set it for four. The butler replied: "The Cohens telephoned and said they were bringing the Blintzes"

JEST FOR FUN

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.

JEST FOR FUN

At the final dinner of an international conference, an American delegate turned to the Chinese delegate sitting next to him, pointed to the soup and asked somewhat condescendingly, "Likee soupee?" The Chinese gentlemen nodded eagerly. A little later, it was "Likee fishee?" and "Likee meatee?" and "Likee fruitee?" and always the response was an affable nod.
At the end of the dinner the chairman of the conference introduced the guest speaker of the evening: none other than the Chinese gentleman who delivered a penetrating, witty discourse in impeccable English, much to the astonishment of his American neighbor. When the speech was over, the speaker turned to his neighbor and with a mischievous twinkle in his eye and asked, "Likee speechee?"

JEST FOR FUN

The reason we never see any politicians playing golf is it's too much like their work, trapped in one bad lie after another.

JEST FOR FUN

I was driving to work this morning when my Ford quit. I was sitting in the car at the side of the highway when a pigeon flew down and landed right in the middle of the hood of the car, and began making cooing noises. A few minutes passed, and two more pigeons flew in and then more. Soon I was sitting there with a whole hood full of pigeons, all cooing loudly. Then I noticed several of them were dragging a piece of rope around on the hood, and several others were flying out in front of the car holding the other end of the rope. All of a sudden, I realized what they were doing, so I yanked open the door and chased them all off. No way I was going to be pigeon-towed!