Sunday, January 31, 2010

Health Care is Getting Worse

A sign of the times? Just when you thought the health care plans in the US couldn't get any worse.


Credit: Unknown. (If this picture belongs to you, click here to claim it.)

Friday, January 29, 2010

Got to Love the Cable Company part 2

Just when you think all is right with the world again, you can email or instant message whomever you want, look up whatever interests you and play games to your heart's delight, they pull the rug out from under you again. That's right, our internet access was down again. One would think that this time would not be so bad, considering that I was without it for over a week and ended up doing just fine. You would think wrong. It was much worse. I had just gotten back on track and feeling like I was caught up when bam, it was violently taken away from me again. All those people that I had apologized to for my lack of responses and assured that I was back online, would now feel the sting of disappointment and rejection again. They would not get responses from me again and would now assume that I was just plain rude. Sweet cable company you have made a fool of me again. How does that old saying go? Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. Yes, I let myself be taken in by the empty promises of the cable company once again. Let's hope I learn this time.

Credit: Unknown. (If this picture belongs to you, click here to claim it.)

French and Saunders Making Of Titanic Spoof Part 2



Credit: Where I Got It: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UPHAAs2_q8

Jest for Fun

I'm so old that whenever I eat out, they ask me for money up front.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Being in the news business...

As a student, anyway... I have a deep-seated appreciation for this video. Other news outlets are FAIL.



Credit: Charlie Brooker's Newspipe.

French and Saunders Making of Titanic Spoof



More to come tomorrow . . ,

Credit: Where I Got It: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pakvWy8I59A

This dog sounds like a child.

It's not fail. It's CREEPY.



Credit: Unknown. (If this video belongs to you, click here to claim it.)

Jest for Fun

A rabbi and a priest met at the town picnic and began their usual "kibitzing." "This baked ham is just delicious," the priest teased the rabbi. "You really should try some. I know it' against your religion, but I can't understand why such a wonderful thing should be forbidden. You just don't know what you're missing. You haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Kennedy's baked ham. Tell me rabbi, when are you going to break down and try a little ham?"

The rabbi looked at the priest, smiled and said, "At your wedding."

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Likely Suspects



Credit: Where I Got It: http://ihasahotdog.com/

The village idiot.

And his place in Monty Python.



Credit: Monty Python.

Jest for Fun

Two women were discussing the upcoming dance at the retirement center. "We're supposed to wear something that matches our husband's hair," said one, "so I'm wearing my gray wool suit."

"Oh my," said the other. "I'd probably better not go"

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

You Gotta Love The Cable Company

After over a week long battle with our cable company (which provides our internet), we our finally able to go back online. At first having no internet access and thus no email or web access was kind of a welcome relief. It felt good to not be tied to the computer, checking every ten minutes or so to see if I had received any emails. That feeling quickly went away as I would run into people and they would ask me questions about things I had no clue. They would ask if I had completed something or if I had got the message about something. It was fun I admit to be able to say that I didn't receive the email and actually mean it for once. That novelty wore off when I realized that I missed deadlines because of my lack of emails. No amount of pleading with the cable company would get them to hurry it up or to at least give me a time frame. It was always, "We are doing our best to get the system back up. We are servicing the high demand areas first. Thanks for your patience." I really began to fret once I realized I was missing information from my children's schools. "I'm sorry, little Johnny cannot go on the field trip as you did not print it out and get the filled in form back to us in time." Try telling little Johnny that he didn't get to go to the zoo because his mom didn't get the email. Doesn't go over very well. The cable company didn't seem to care either. "We are sorry for the inconvenience and are working as quickly as we can to correct the problem." Obviously we were not located in a high demand area. Around the 4th day I began to get desperate and actually picked up the phone to make a call to talk to a person at my child's school. They sounded as surprised as I did to actually talk to a real person about a problem instead of just sending emails. After I hung up, I realized I was smiling and had actually enjoyed the encounter and had received the answer to my question as well as several others I wasn't aware that I was going to have. I found out that the children were enjoying a special treat in the afternoon for having completing a goal at school. It sounded like so much fun that I had volunteered to help out, in person. Wait a minute, what had I done? I actually had to leave the house to get something accomplished? I couldn't just take care of it over the internet? What had gotten into me? Turns out I enjoyed it so much that I only called the cable company 20 times that day instead of the usual 50. (give or take a few) Sometime in the middle of the 6th day, I realized that I had not called the cable company at all that day. I was so busy chatting with people on the phone that I had completely forgot to even check if I was back online! I wasn't, but it didn't cause my blood pressure to sky rocket as it had earlier in the week. In fact when I did call to inquire about my access, I actually cracked a joke with the lady at the cable company and found myself thanking them for doing the best that they could. Where did that come from? Wasn't I the one who should be thanked for my patience and understanding? On the seventh day I went to the gas station down the street and bought a newspaper. I then met my husband for lunch and spent over an hour and a half chatting with him over articles we found interesting in the paper. It wasn't until we noticed the angry looks from the waitress that we realized we were taking up a table and that we should probably leave. We spent that evening lingering over dinner listening to the kids talk about their day. It wasn't until we were getting ready for bed that I thought about checking the computer to see if we were back online and then I decided it could wait until morning. Days 8 and 9 passed in much the same way. I'm sure my friend at the cable company must have missed my daily calls. Towards the end of day 9, my daughter asked if she could use the computer to work on a report. I told her to go ahead. She asked if she should try to connect to the internet while she was there. I said, "If you want." About a minute later I heard screaming coming from the office. I ran down the stairs and shouted, "What's wrong?" "We have internet access again!" she exclaimed. "Is that all?" I answered, "You had me scared there for a moment. Wait a minute, did you say we have internet access?" I pushed her aside to check for myself. Oh joy! It was true! Look at all those emails being downloaded! Manna from heaven! I opened up several browser windows and started loading up all my favorite sites. "Uhh, mom?" I heard my daughter ask. "Not now, sweetie, I have to work" I replied. "My report?" she asked. Right. That. I sighed heavily and reluctantly stood up to let her have the chair. Had I not learned anything over the past week, I thought to myself. Did you not enjoy the freedom of not being tied to computer? "Of course you can have the computer, sweetie, take your time" I told her as I walked back upstairs. "Just make it snappy."

Credit: jtkjager

Valentine's Day is coming up...

And, naturally, it deserves a few groaners.

Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.

Q: What did the valentine card say to the stamp?
A: Stick with me and we'll go places!

Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: I'm stuck on you.

Q: Who sends a thousand valentines cards signed', guess who' ?
A: A divorce lawyer.

Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?
A: You turn me on.

Q: Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?
A: No, but they had an apple.

Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand? Valentine Joke

Q: What did one snake say to the other snake?
A: Give me a little hug and a hiss, honey.
Knock, Knock,
Who's there?
Olive
Olive who?
Olive you!

Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A: Because it couldn't get a date.

Q: What is a ram's favourite song on February 14th?
A: I only have eyes for ewe, dear

Q: What travels around the world but stays in one corner?
A: A stamp.

Q: What happens when you fall in love with a French chef?
A: You get buttered up.

Q: What is a vampire's sweetheart called?
A: His ghoul-friend.

Q: If your aunt ran off to get married, what would you call her?
A: Antelope.

Credit: Guy-Sports.com

Jest for Fun

A newspaper editor received this note from a reader: "My wife was about to file for a divorce when she read the article in your paper about the importance of giving second chances in making a marriage work. So she changed her mind about the divorce. Effective today, cancel my subscription to your paper."

Monday, January 25, 2010

Darth Vader, age 10.

Dancing.

No more description needed.



Credit: Unknown. (If this video belongs to you, click here to claim it.)

Lenny and Squiggy--Night After Night



Hadn't seen this in a long time--some funny one-liners in the lyrics.

Credit: Where I Got It: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__8fQh04tjo

Jest for Fun

A young man volunteered to babysit his girlfriend's little siblings one night so she could have an evening out with her friends. At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and settled down to watch some college hoops. One child kept creeping down the stairs, but the young man kept sending him back up. Shortly after 9:00 p. m., the doorbell rang. It was the next- door neighbor, Mrs. Brown, asking whether her son was there. The young man brusquely replied, "No."

Just then a little head appeared over the banister and a voice shouted, "I'm here, Mom, but he won't let me go home!"

Friday, January 22, 2010

Charlie Chaplin Redux.

Well, not really. But he gets lost in a maze and stuff, and that's pretty fail.



Credit: Mirror Maze.

Watch Out!



Credit: Where I Got It: http://icanhascheezburger.com/

Jest for Fun

New Yorkers are always so depressed because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Cute Puppy Whistle



Awww . . .

Credit: Where I Got It: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHAshi4vdbg&feature=player_embedded

Jest for Fun

Two sea monsters were swimming around in the ocean one day when a fleet of supply ships passed by. Bob, the first sea monster, stuck his head above the water and observed the ships. When he came across one that was hauling potatoes, he swam underneath it and tipped it so that all the potatoes spilled out into the ocean. He then ate them. A little down the fleet there was another ship hauling potatoes. Bob tipped that one too and ate everything. He did the same with a third ship that was also carrying a cargo load of potatoes. Finally his buddy Bill asked him, "Why do you keep tipping those ships full of potatoes and eating everything on board?"

"I can't help it, once I start," Bob replied. "You know what they say about potato ships: No one can eat just one!"

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

More game shows, Japanese flavored.

Gotta love these guys.



Credit: Unknown. (If you know where this video comes from, click here to tell us.)

The Last Thing Your Keys See



Ain't it the truth . . .

Credit: Where I Got It: http://icanhascheezburger.com/

Jest for Fun

A Jew and a Christian were arguing about the ways of their religion. The Jewish man said, "You people have been taking things from us for thousands of years; The Ten Commandments, for instance."

The Christian replied, "Well, it's true that we took the Ten Commandments from you, but you can't actually say that we've kept them!"

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The Problem With Government

A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"


The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"


The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP Laser Jet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."


"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy.


He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.


Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"


The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"


You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says the cowboy.


"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"


"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to
show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows... this is a herd of sheep."


"Now give me back my dog."




Credit: Unknown.

Is a fail that's intended to BE a fail still a fail? Or a success?

In the end, who cares? Pretty funny either way.



Credit: Unknown. (If this video belongs to you, click here to claim it.)

Wish I Hadn't Seen That



I get the same feeling after watching certain parts of Nip/Tuck . . .

Credit: Where I Got It: http://icanhascheezburger.com/

Jest for Fun

God was sitting in heaven one day when a scientist said to Him, "God, we don't need you anymore. Science has finally figured out a way to create life out of nothing - in other words, we can now do what you did in the beginning."

"Oh, is that so? Please explain..." replies God.

"Well," says the scientist, "we can take dirt and form it into the likeness of you and breathe life into it, thus creating man."

"Well, that's very interesting... show Me."

So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mold the soil into the shape of a man. "No, no, no..." interrupts God, "You have to use your *own* dirt."


Monday, January 18, 2010

Drip Along Daffy



Credit: Where I Got It: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxhbaOx1Gs8

Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2010



Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.


Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.


Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.


Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet, and they won't bother you for weeks.


Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky ...Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.


Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.


Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.


Number 3
Why does a ‘slight’ tax increase cost you $200.00, and a ‘substantial’ tax cut saves you $30.00?


Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.


And The Number 1 Thought For 2010


"Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers: What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow!



Credit: Unknown.

Jest for Fun

Job application question: "List your high school and when you attended."

Applicant's response: "Central High, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday."


Sunday, January 17, 2010

Puppy can't roll over. Poor puppy.

Naturally, we laugh at its misfortune.



Credit: Unknown. (If this video belongs to you, click here to claim it.)

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Pop-Ups



Credit: Where I Got It: http://icanhascheezburger.com/

Friday, January 15, 2010

Jest for Fun

What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

New Element Discovered: Governmentium


The discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named Governmentium.

Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.

Credit: Unknown. (If this picture belongs to you, click here to claim it.)

Do you have a mental disorder?

Check out this handy chart. It'll let you know for sure.



Credit: FunnyMos.com

The Monkees On Laugh-In



Gotta love the Monkees and the Joke Wall. Language can get a little racy, so heads up if you're watching at work.

Credit: Where I Got It: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sf_Oz9yFAak

JEST FOR FUN

Over drinks one evening two gentleman were having a discussion about the charms, or lack there-of of the actress Sharon Stone. "I say she's highly over-rated," said one, "Take away her eyes, her lips, her legs and her figure, and what have ya got?" "My wife!" said the other with a heavy sigh.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Dog versus mirror.

Who wins? Debatable. Possibly the viewers.



Credit: GagFilms.com

Oh GrassEater



Credit: Where I Got It: http://icanhascheezburger.com/
Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?" The guard replies, "They are 3 million, four years, and six months old." "That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?" The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago."

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Amazing Cucumber

Who knew they could do so much?




1. Cucumbers contain most of the vitamins you need every day, just one cucumber contains Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3, Vitamin B5, Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium and Zinc.

2.Feeling tired in the afternoon, put down the caffeinated soda and pick up a cucumber. Cucumbers are a good source of B Vitamins and Carbohydrates that can provide that quick pick-me-up that can last for hours.

3. Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up after a shower? Try rubbing a cucumber slice along the mirror, it will eliminate the fog and provide a soothing, spa-like fragrance.

4. Are grubs and slugs ruining your planting beds? Place a few slices in a small pie tin and your garden will be free of pests all season long. The chemicals in the cucumber react with the aluminum to give off a scent undetectable to humans but drive garden pests crazy and make them flee the area.

5. Looking for a fast and easy way to remove cellulite before going out or to the pool? Try rubbing a slice or two of cucumbers along your problem area for a few minutes, the phytochemicals in the cucumber cause the collagen in your skin to tighten, firming up the outer layer and reducing the visibility of cellulite. Works great on wrinkles too!!!

6. Want to avoid a hangover or terrible headache? Eat a few cucumber slices before going to bed and wake up refreshed and headache free. Cucumbers contain enough sugar, B vitamins and electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients the body lost, keeping everything in equilibrium, avoiding both a hangover and headache!!

7. Looking to fight off that afternoon or evening snacking binge? Cucumbers have been used for centuries and often used by European trappers, traders and explores for quick meals to thwart off starvation.

8. Have an important meeting or job interview and you realize that you don't have enough time to polish your shoes? Rub a freshly cut cucumber over the shoe, its chemicals will provide a quick and durable shine that not only looks great but also repels water.

9. Out of WD 40 and need to fix a squeaky hinge? Take a cucumber slice and rub it along the problematic hinge, and voila, the squeak is gone!

10. Stressed out and don't have time for massage, facial or visit to the spa? Cut up an entire cucumber and place it in a boiling pot of water, the chemicals and nutrients from the cucumber with react with the boiling water and be released in the steam, creating a soothing, relaxing aroma that has been shown the reduce stress in new mothers and college students during final exams..

11. Just finish a business lunch and realize you don't have gum or mints? Take a slice of cucumber and press it to the roof of your mouth with your tongue for 30 seconds to eliminate bad breath, the phytochemcials will kill the bacteria in your mouth responsible for causing bad breath.

12. Looking for a 'green' way to clean your faucets, sinks or stainless steel? Take a slice of cucumber and rub it on the surface you want to clean, not only will it remove years of tarnish and bring back the shine, but is won't leave streaks and won't harm you fingers or fingernails while you clean.

13. Using a pen and made a mistake? Take the outside of the cucumber and slowly use it to erase the pen writing, also works great on crayons and markers that the kids have used to decorate the walls!!





Credit: Unknown. (If this picture belongs to you, click here to claim it.)

Sarcasm as a speech impediment?

Sounds like it would be fun for a few moments, anyway.

--



Credit: Kids in the Hall.

Hollywood Steps Out



Old Hollywood--fantastic!

Credit: Where I Got It: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImorDqwQtjM

As a college student...

I practically know these two.

--

Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change.

Frank adamantly rejects the man in disgust.

Matt, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couples of singles and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a smile.

The beggar thanks him kindly and then continues on to the other passengers.

Frank is outraged by his friend's act of generosity.

"What on earth did you do that for?" shouts Frank. "You know he's only going to use it on drugs or booze."

Matt replies, "And we weren't?"

Credit: Unwind.com

JEST FOR FUN

The bringing of the shah of Iran to America in 1979 caused someone to recall that the CIA had been involved in similar situations before. In 1975, they got President Thieu out of Vietnam and put him up at an apartment in Paris where they had formerly housed Argentina's deposed president, Juan Peron. Fortunately for the CIA's budget, the rent for the apartment had not increased since Peron had been there. In fact, Thieu could live as cheaply as Juan!

Monday, January 11, 2010

Another Eskimo Baptism Gone Bad


Credit: Unknown. (If this picture belongs to you, click here to claim it.)

Cat Is Top Dog



That cat looks like a raccoon to me.

Credit: Where I Got It: http://icanhascheezburger.com/

JEST FOR FUN

An 18-year-old girl came home with five job applications. She carefully filled them out, and later that evening, asked her Mom to look them over. All the answers were clear, concise and accurate. Including that on all five applications, under "Previous Employment", she had listed "Baby-sitting". "Not bad," thought her Mom. "Looking good." But then she read, under "Reason for Leaving" the answer, "Parents came home."


Goofy gets into a Cold War.

As per usual, little goes right for him as a result. Poor... dog thing.



Credit: cold war, goofy

Sunday, January 10, 2010

They Never Learn

It seems some things just never change. Even Eve had to nag Adam to get him to put his clothes away. You would think they would learn after all this time.

Credit: Unknown. (If this picture belongs to you, click here to claim it.)

Friday, January 8, 2010

Linda Figured



Credit: Where I Got It: http://icanhascheezburger.com/

Jest for Fun

Eric is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer. Tom walks in, sits down and asks him what the problem is. "Well," said Eric, "I ran afoul on one of those awkward questions women ask. Now, I'm in deep trouble at home."

"What kind of question?" asked Tom.

"My wife asked me if I would still love her when she gets old, fat and wrinkly."

"That's easy," said Tom. "You just say, 'Of course I will'."

"Yeah," said Eric. "That's what I did, except I said, 'Of course I do'."

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Catch Me If You Can!

Check out this news story about man who tried to flee the scene of the crime on a shopping scooter! Not only that but he was dressed in a hospital gown at the time! File this one under stupid criminals.


UNIONTOWN, Pa. -- Police say a Pennsylvania man in a hospital gown stole $50 from his ex-girlfriend at Wal-Mart, then tried to flee on a store-owned motorized shopping scooter.

Craig David Jr., 32, of Smithfield, was charged Wednesday with robbery and disorderly conduct.

State police Cpl. Chuck Frey says David had just been released from a hospital for injuries in a domestic dispute Jan. 1. Frey says David had been hit with a frying pan and table leg.

David was still in a hospital gown Tuesday night when he met an ex-girlfriend who agreed to pay for his prescription medication.

Instead, police say he grabbed $50 from her and scooted away.
David remained jailed Thursday. He does not have an attorney.


Credit: www.kare11.com

Look Alike




Credit: Where I Got It: http://totallylookslike.com/

Man uses snowblower while drunk.

Police are annoyed and baffled.

--

Barrie police made one of their most unusual recent arrests Tuesday evening when they picked up a 41-year-old man for drunken snow blowing.

Around 5:30 p.m., the man wandered out into the middle of Yonge St. at Little Ave., a major intersection on the south side of Barrie.

As rush hour traffic whizzed around him, he pushed a snow blower in front of him, whipping up piles of powder on the roadway.

On two occasions, he was almost hit by passing cars. "His capacity to make sound decisions was obviously affected," said Sgt. Robert Allan of the Barrie Police Service.

A passing police officer pulled over and arrested him. The man was kept in a holding cell until he sobered up, given a ticket for public intoxication, and released.

Despite the dangers of operating a piece of machinery while drunk, police couldn't charge him with anything more, as the snow blower was a push model, rather than a ride-on.

Had the machine been a ride-on model — such as a ride-on lawnmower with a snow-blowing attachment — it would have been considered a vehicle, and the man could have been charged with drunk driving and lost his licence.

According to the Canada Safety Council, operating a snow blower can be dangerous under the best of circumstances. Adding fuel while the machine is running can cause a fire, clearing either the shoot or the auger with the motor running could seriously injure the operator's hand and there's always the danger of getting run over by the machine.

Police were also not entirely sure why the man had wandered out onto the road, or why he was trying to clear the snow off the street.

"You know, people wake up in the morning and think, 'Why did we do that?'" Allan said. "I'm sure he had one of those mornings."

--

Credit: The Toronto Star.

Jest for Fun

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business.. Several members did not approve of her extra- curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that everyone seeing it there WOULD KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING! Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing... Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house, walked home, and left it there all night.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

That's Gotta Hurt

This is what happens when you try to get a hippo to get out of your chair!



The picture may be photo shopped, but it still is funny and I would hate to have it happen to me!

Credit: Unknown. (If this picture belongs to you, click here to claim it.)

Silence!



It must have been important.

Credit: Where I Got It: http://ihasahotdog.com/upcoming/?pid=4845

Canned Feud



Gotta love the little cat . . .

Credit: Where I Got It: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyIggwxFto8

Jest for Fun

Dentist to senior citizen: “Your fillings are wearing out.”

Senior citizen to dentist: “So am I!”

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Christmas Decorations

Now that is what I call a great Christmas decoration display. This house must cause traffic jams in the neighborhood.


Credit: Unknown. (If this picture belongs to you, click here to claim it.)

This post does not contain fail.

And perhaps not funny. (Not in the usual way, anyway.)

Instead it brings copious amounts of WIN. I present TUPER TARIO BROTHERS, a combination of Mario and Tetris! FANTASTIC to play, this one.

Credit: Newgrounds.

More Chaplin.

This time it's a great scene from The Great Dictator.

Jest for Fun

"If you don't marry me, I'll hang myself from that tree in your front yard."

"Please don't do that. You know my parents don't want you hanging around here."

Monday, January 4, 2010

Glam Shots: Yours and Theirs



Credit: Where I Got It: http://icanhascheezburger.com/

Start Them Young


Credit: www.davesdaily.com

Ain't nuthin' like the classics.

And it doesn't get much more classic than Charlie Chaplin.



Credit: City Lights.

Jest for Fun

Blaming someone else when the fault is really yours began in the Garden of Eden. Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed the serpent, and the serpent, alas for him, didn't have a leg to stand on.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Are you on a boat?

Then it's time you try out a Mac instead. (Some colorful language. Parental guidance is advised before starting this up.)



Credit: SwitchToMac.

Friday, January 1, 2010

New Year's Day Prayer for Everyone

Dear Lord

So far this year I've done well.

I haven't gossiped, I haven't lost my temper, I haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I'm very thankful for that. But in a few minutes, Lord, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help.

Amen

Credit: www.guy-sports.com

Throw Another Cat On



Credit: Where I Got It: http://icanhascheezburger.com/

Mr. Bean mucks up an ambulance.

Among other things.

Jest for Fun

Credit: Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.